top 5 things to hate about ireland

solely based on my own personal experience, of course:

1. scary, scary drunk people. really, the creepiest, most completely shitfaced drunks i've ever encountered -- the kind of drunks that make you want to cross the street before you have to see them face-to-face.

2. pigeons aka rats with wings. in dublin they are everywhere, and they're the type that walk right up to you and want to know what the hell you're eating. ICK.

3. in summertime the sun doesn't go down until after 10pm. okay, i know that this would be seen as a good thing for you social, let's-hit-the-bars-and-clubs people, but for beaten down mother of two? it SUCKED. my sleep was already thrown off by the time difference, so 20 hours of daylight didn't help!

4. slugs in salads. okay, it was just one slug in my salad, but it rates a mention! it was a shame, too, because it was a really yummy salad with roast salmon and potatoes on a lovely bed of greens. yeah, a lovely bed FOR A SLUG. we were dining in the cafe at the guinness storehouse, and even though the manager was appropriately horrified and apologetic, no amount of guinness offered could get rid of the blarghy feeling in my gut. did i mention that the slug was ALIVE? slithering around under the salmon, quite contentedly.

5. stupid birds. again, it was just one bird that i encountered, but it was stupid! mentally defective! SOMETHING WAS WRONG WITH IT. as we left the connemara national park, i pulled onto the lovely wooded, curvy road and saw a bird on the road pecking at something. i got closer and he looked at me, but didn't move. i was sure he was going to move, so i kept going. come on, of course he's going to move! birds here in the states play that chicken shit all the time! i think they dig the adrenalin rush of waiting till the last possible second before they swoop out of the way. but birds in the irish countryside? they're obviously STUPID. so i kept going, and even as the bird disappeared under the bumper i was sure he had moved out of the way. he did move, right?? wrong. dave turned around to check the view from the back and declared the bird a definite goner. WHAT THE FUCK? this was a road with very little traffic, so i don't think the bird was used to having cars in his face all the time and desensitized, you know?? no, i've come to the conclusion that he had a death wish, and i just happened to be his convenient way out. little bastard! it was really quite upsetting at the time.

i was trying to make this a "top 10" list, but i realize that there isn't enough bad shit to put on the list! i'll do a "top 5 things to love about ireland" soon. actually, it'll probably be a "top 10" list. yeah, lots o' good stuff. huh. it already feels like the trip was ages ago!