it beats the hell out of doing laundry

Monday, November 14, 2005

i am so mad i can't see straight

actually, no. "mad" doesn't cut it. i am so unbelievably fucking pissed off that i'm practically hyperventilating and frothing at the mouth, and i don't know what to do. writing about it and hopefully getting some feedback will help, i think. sorry for the rantiness, but here goes nothing:

we all woke up ridiculously late and i wasn't in the mood for rushing around and getting everyone ready to go to school, so jack stayed home. bad mommy, i know. it's a nice day so i figured we could go for a walk and get a snack or whatever. we're on our way down a little sidestreet that leads to the park and downtown, when we encounter this guy who lives at the house on the corner. he's probably in his 40s, seems to work from home, has a mercedes SUV, longish hair, in good shape, gives off kind of a yoga/new-agey vibe. he lives on a street with four other houses, all full of youngish couples and their kids. i've never seen him talk to anyone. he's never attended any kind of neighborhood get-together. he lives alone. so he's walking back to his house with his dog, iPod earphones visible. normally i'd say hello to anyone i encounter in my neighborhood, but i figure he's got headphones on, and he probably wasn't going to say hello to me, so why bother? so i'm pushing the stroller and jack's walking beside me, when he starts to trudge through a pile of leaves that have been pushed to the side. in our neighborhood you can make big piles of leaves by the curb and the county will pick them up. just as the guy and his dog are right in front of us, i pull jack away from the leaves and say, "no jack, don't walk through those." the guy passes me and says, "that kid's gonna grow up to be gay."

STOP. what? what the fuck did he just say? was he talking to me?? i turn around and say, "WHAT?" he glances back and keeps walking.

what the fuck? what the FUCK?? no really, WHAT THE FUCK??

so i keep pushing the stroller, jack by my side, trying not to freak the fuck out. jack seemed to be oblivious to what had happened, so i felt i shouldn't make a scene, though god knows i wanted to chase that motherfucker down and scream at him. so i keep walking. but as i keep walking, i keep thinking about it, and i get madder and madder. and what's worse is that i'm thinking about why i pulled jack away from the leaves, and maybe it wasn't such a big deal to let him walk through them. WHAT THE FUCK? i call dave. he is just as shocked as i am. this asshole homophobe lives across the street from us! in close proximity to small children! who the fuck does he think he is?? it's one thing to think stupid shit, but it's definitely another to have the gall to say it to a complete stranger and her TWO SMALL CHILDREN. he doesn't have kids (that i know of)! who is he to tell me that teaching my son to respect the work of others -- even if it's just a raked up pile of leaves -- is going to do anything but good?? my heart is racing because i know i can't let this go. i cannot live next to someone who is going to talk to me like that and not do something about it. so what do i do? well, whenever i'm confronted with stupidity or hatred my inner teenage hooligan comes out first and i think shit like, "i'll key his car! i'll egg his house! i'll write 'HOMOPHOBE' on his door!" heh. definitely not very mature of me, eh? but those things would make me feel better. then i think, "maybe i should just make sure all his neighbors know what kind of person he is." i mean, i would want to know if my neighbor was saying shit like that to people. this is silver spring, for chrissakes! liberal silver spring! but i suppose there are stupid and mean liberal people, too. ugh. it sickens me.

so we had to walk past mr. fuckface homophobe's house to get back to our house. in most situations, i would go out of my to avoid confrontation, but somehow i was actually hoping that he was outside. some kind of mama bear instinct had emerged, and i felt like i had no choice but to defend and protect my kids. sure, i could ignore it and chalk it up to him just being an asshole, but somehow i can't. i won't. i know it's not setting the best example for my kids, but if he had been outside i would have screamed at him, "I DON'T KNOW WHO THE HELL YOU THINK YOU ARE, BUT YOU CAN KEEP YOUR IDIOTIC COMMENTS TO YOURSELF. AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, NEVER TALK TO OR ABOUT ME OR MY CHILDREN AGAIN." it's always easiest when the rage is fresh.

when i do see him again, i think i will say something to him, but who knows what it will be. it won't be very neighborly, that's for sure. and i am going to talk to the folks i know on that street. my guess is that they have stories of their own about that guy.

i....i am just dumbfounded. my day is ruined. i feel paralyzed and violated. i have 6000 things i should be doing but i don't feel like doing any of them. i guess that's all there is to say without repeating myself.

so. any other suggestions on how to deal with this asshole?


Blogger David said...

What a stupid fuck! Good thing this guy isn't breeding.

Does this guy think he turned out straight cuz he walked through leaves as a kid? I would think that'd make him pretty uncertain about his own sexuality. (The fact that he's 40, fit and single probably makes others uncertain too.)

Perhaps you could slap a bumper sticker on his car each time you pass -- Rainbows, pink triangles, etc. It would help counter his bad karma.

2:14 PM

Blogger sweetney said...

umm, that is unbelievably fucked up. i say tee-pee the guy's house.

2:15 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

that's the strangest thing i have ever heard. tourretts?!?!?! seriously -- how bizarre.

i'm thinkin' the whole 40, lives alone, iPod, dog = gay.

perhaps he is angry at his own self and lashing out.

i would write him a short letter about manners and innapropriate public behavior and put it in his mailbox.

this is most definitely no reflection on you teaching you kid manners by not meesing up the leaves. CLEARLY THIS ASSHOLE'S MOTHER NEVER TAUGHT HIM ANY!

2:42 PM

Blogger mighty said...

I say, "post a photo of his house so yer readers can indiscriminatly through things at it."

I also say, "could he possibly be gay? And he is merely giving you a warning 'cause his Momma pulled him from the leaves?"

Furthermore, when did it become bad for kids to play in a pile of leaves?

2:56 PM

Blogger debbie said...

mighty: playing in a pile of leaves is fine. playing in a pile of leaves that someone has taken time to rake and pile up carefully is not. oh, unless i am the someone who raked and piled them up carefully for you to specifically play in. make sense? talk to me when you've got kids.

7:52 PM

Blogger Castor OiL said...

Go to his house, knock on his door and tell him that you want to make sure you heard him correctly when he said something to you the other day. If he confirms that he said what you think he said tell him what you think. People that like to act like fucking assholes will continue to do so until someone calls them on it, then they generally turn into gigantic suckups and try to kiss your ass all day.

After the confrontation stick a banana in his tailpipe as a point of emphasis.


9:45 AM

Anonymous supa said...

Sweet Jesus, that's fucked up. I'm struggling to figure out his logic equating leaves with sexuality, but i have a feeling that's a long and twisty road to go down.

I'm up for an egging, knee-cap busting, whatever you need done. This guy is a menace to polite society.

9:53 AM

Anonymous Editrix said...

What an utter tool. I'm sorry he's polluting your neighborhood. I hope you're able to call him on his bullshit rude, inappropriate (not to mention moronic) behavior next time you see him out and about.

5:54 PM

Blogger Mama C-ta said...

I'm just baffled...

7:33 PM

Anonymous Annie said...

Honestly, it just sounds like random words. How could it have anything to do with you or your kids?

3:28 PM


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