communication meltdown

the last few days have been a little trying at our house. okay, they've been trying for me, notsomuch for everyone else. i kinda feel like i'm off my game, so to speak. the routines, the expected behaviors, the comfortableness in knowing what comes next have all gone out the fucking window. and i feel like i'm losing my mind.

jack has taken up the particularly annoying habit of NOT SHUTTING THE FUCK UP. seriously, he has to talk ALL THE TIME: when i'm on the phone, when i'm in the bathroom, when i'm reading a story, when i'm singing a song to natey. ALL THE FUCKING TIME. the only time he doesn't want to talk? when the TV is on. of course. but even though it would be so damn easy to switch it on and have an hour or two of quiet -- as quiet as it can be with natey around, anyway --i refuse to let him watch anything more than sesame street with nate and me. why torture myself this way, you ask? oh, i guess i forgot to mention that jack has become SATAN. okay, maybe SATAN'S SPAWN. and i'll be damned if i'll let the backtalking, whining, bratty little bugger numb his brain with his favorite drug of choice! you wait till your old enough to buy your own dimebags, kid! he has become rather insufferable lately, and i'm not quite sure what to do, short of maybe binding and gagging him! hmmm....

it would appear that jack has inherited his mother's hot temper. oy, it pains me, but i'm sure i've had this coming for a while now. if he doesn't get his way he turns into a shrieking banshee, frothing at the mouth and kicking and punching any and all inanimate objects in his path. the shrieking and the frothing i can handle, but the punching the wall shit? uh-uh. NOT cool, dude. even when he's on his way to his time out corner, he'll punch the chair, the couch and, if nothing else is around, crouch down to punch the floor. then he'll get to his corner and punch the wall. what to do?? i have no idea. giving him another time out seems a bit excessive -- he's already standing there for 5 minutes, and i just don't have the time or patience to physically make him stand there another 5. i threaten him with taking away favorite things like snacks and videos and toys, but he doesn't seem to care. and, to be perfectly honest, following through on these threats SUCKS ASS. ultimately, i'm the one punished, because hanging out with an almost 5 year old acting like an asshole because he can't have fruit snacks or ride his bike is NOT FUN. i know, i know, it's my responsibility as a parent to teach him what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior, and no one said it was always going to be fun. yeah? well, FUCK THAT. i do believe that i'm teaching him just fine, there are just days when i'm sick of being the bad guy. or as jack would say, bad lady. sigh.

so, not sure where i'm going with this. it's been a tiring few days. jack has been difficult, but still manages to keep his precocious charm.

jack: mom! mom!

me [in the middle of making lunch and entertaining nate]: yes, jack.

jack: mom! remember in the herbie movie when the man blah blah blah blah blah blah.....

--the truth is that jack can go on and on and ON about something and i'm not always able to follow. i do try to, but there are instances when i'm occupied with something and i can't. this is one of those times--

......blah blah blah and then the guy in the cowboy hat says, "what the HELL is going on here??"

me: what?? he said what?

jack: "what the HELL is going on here?" or something! [cracks up laughing]

me [trying not to laugh but failing miserably]: jack, kids don't use words like that. and i'm pretty sure that no one in the herbie movie used words like that, either.

jack: okay, mom. [we both crack up laughing]

heh. more proof that i have no business being a role model. good times, people, good times.