it beats the hell out of doing laundry

Tuesday, October 18, 2005


things that are sucking right now:

  1. the digital camera has decided to die days before i leave for vegas, a trip sure to be chock full o' photo opportunities.
  2. not really being able to afford a new digital camera at this time.
  3. jack informed me last night of a new "game" that he and his friends (2 other boys) have been playing at school. they kiss each other. on the lips. and the ears. jack is not the kissy-kissy type, so i know this was not his idea, not that it really matters whose idea it was. this sucks because i'm feeling rather conflicted as to what to do. they're just 4 years old, you know? the thing that is bothering me the most, and i can't believe i'm even going to admit this, but dammit i can't help my gut feeling, is that he's kissing other boys. there. i said it. now i am no homophobe, and if jack is gay, it will not affect our relationship AT ALL, but i cetainly don't think this is about homosexual tendencies. the thing that concerns me is why this one boy has started this "game." could something be happening in his life where he is kissing other boys? being forced to kiss other boys? look, this is my hyperactive, OCD-addled brain going into overdrive, and i know it probably sounds ridiculous, but it can't be helped. call me a jerk, but i do not want jack playing this game. i am going to be the overprotective, overreacting mother and put a stop to it. if i don't, i won't be able to stop thinking about it! i will tell jack that kissing other people on the lips is sure to spread germs, and you don't want to get each other sick. i will tell him that he is too young to kiss other kids, and make no mention of the sex of the kids. fuck, this is sucking harder the more i write about it. maybe i won't do anything. they're just 4 years old, right?


Blogger David said...

My daughter (5.75 yrs old) started kissing her (girl) friends too.

I think it's just that they want to experiment with kissing, and they're most comfortable doing it with friends of their own gender. ...Perhaps from tv they've seen that it is somehow more "significant" if they were to kiss the opposite sex.

We asked our daughter to stop because it spread germs too easily. (Now that I've typed that, I'm worried we may have encouraged a huge swing to the "cootie" side of things)

8:32 AM

Blogger David said...

Oh yeah...Items 1 and 2: May I suggest this short-term solution?--Buy disposable cameras and get a CDROM of the photos when they're developed. That way you'll have the vegas pics digitally (to share here?) without being rushed into a digital camera purchase.

8:35 AM

Anonymous RamBam said...


I think its really just innappropriate at that age. Period. I mean, the sex of the other kids isn't the issue so much as SEX is this issue. 4 seems young to me, but maybe its time to start talking about love, and relationships, and yes, SEX with the little dude, help him understand the .... weight of the issues?

Either that or tell him he can't ever kiss people till you tell him its okay. Then call the other kids parents and scold them for having GAYASS kids! (that was a joke for those unaware)


11:51 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

(GG from Indecent here)

can you talk to the parents of these other boys? it may be possible that something is happening with one of these other kids. (This is where my hypervigilance comes in - I used to work at a shelter for sexually abused kids and sexually acting out with other children is often the first sign of abuse.) NOT that that is what is going on here, a cigar is often just a cigar, but it is still probably worth it to talk to the other parents and keep an eye on things.

Also, you have great instincts in that I gather your conflict is between (1) helping you kid have appropriate boundaries and (2) not imposing a sense of shame on his innocent early instincts toward sexuality/affection/etc.

I think one good way of doing that is talking about how kissing is great, but it is a private thing, just for family, and then when he is a grown up he can choose someone he really likes a lot to kiss.

12:55 PM

Blogger debbie said...

thanks for the suggestions, folks. i'm working on a plan.

12:06 PM


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