christ on a crutch

THIS could have been david! when i was ready to get my epidural before delivering jack, dave assumed the customary position of standing in front of me and holding my hands while the anesthesiologist did his thing behind me. "his thing" being sticking a 4-inch needle into my spine to hook me up with some painkiller! dave is not a needle/shot/blood person, but i wasn't really thinking about that at the time. i was thinking, "hold my hands, mofo, so i have something to squeeze the shit out of when i have a contraction!" well, we held hands while the needle went in, but one of the nurses noticed dave's face go white and his eyes roll to the back of his head. she made him sit on the floor and got him some water. luckily (for him!) i didn't even feel the epidural going in and he recovered just fine on the floor.

what would i have done if dave had fainted and hit his head and died from a brain hemorrhage? i'd like to think i wouldn't sue the hospital for focusing on me, the patient, rather than my husband. perhaps this couple hadn't read all the childbirth books and articles or seen the TV shows -- i must've watched a baby story on TLC 100+ times -- that describe and show in detail the process of getting an epidural and that the husband/partner/birth coach typically assumes the hand-holding position in front of the mother. perhaps the mother is too blinded by her anguish to see how her husband's death was a horrible, horrible accident and really no one's fault. perhaps.

dave stood in the hall when i got my epidural before delivering nate, which SUCKED ASS because that time it HURT LIKE A BITCH and the nurse didn't even offer to hold my hands! but today i feel lucky that dave is still around for me to bitch at about having to endure that pain.