will i never catch up?? (alternately titled: set a spell and listen to me bitch)

i'm starting to think not. school starting has kicked my ass in a serious way. all of a sudden i've got a damned schedule, and i hate schedules! no more waking up, eating breakfast and drinking coffee at a leisurely pace -- must eat FAST. must pack lunch QUICKLY. must HURRY UP and get dressed and brush teeth. must jump in car and SPEED to school so i don't miss the drive-thru/drop-off and have to schlep inside to sign jack in. BAH. and it doesn't end there! nate and i usually get to do fun stuff like the park or the bookstore or the fountain downtown, but even when it's just the two of us i'm a slave to his routine -- i have been so successful in nate's brainwashing/sleep-training, that his schedule is perhaps the most strict of all! what? you think you want to stop at the store to get a few things, thus encroaching on the first few minutes of my naptime which will likely end up with me falling asleep in the car or stroller for a crappy 30 minutes rather than the 2 hours i would get in my crib?? uh-uh. think again, bitch.

so if i'm lucky and don't stray too far from home, i get a couple of me hours to do whatever i want while nate naps. i should be cleaning, but here i sit. heh. sure, i could clean and do laundry and blah blah blah but then, before you know it, nate's awake and it's time to pick jack up from school! where did all the time go?? no way. i need my me time, clean clothes be damned!

the rest of the day is a blur of snacks and playing and dinner and baths and bedtimes and, if i'm not totally wiped out, some good old couch potato time in front of the idiot box. FUCK. i know i'm being a whiner, but this shit is exhausting. and HARD. i think maybe i just need to get readjusted to the routine. venting helps, too. heh. yeah, i'm feeling a little better already.

one more thing: get your ass outside! it's fantastically beautiful out there today!