lightweight

i know it's ridiculous, but thinking about how i got drunk on two glasses of wine seems pathetic to me. like, what is this?? fucking junior high?? heh. i'm not much of a drinker these days, and i don't really consider myself to have ever been a person who drinks a lot or even on a regular basis (in adulthood, anyway), but this calls to mind a time in my late teens/early twenties when i could drink like a fish. seriously, my tolerance was so high after years of downing wine coolers (ICK) and milwaukee's best (double ICK) that it would sometimes take a six-pack to even give me a buzz. there was an odd pride that came along with that realization, but it was quickly followed by annoyance because hey! BEER AIN'T CHEAP and the point here is to GET DRUNK.

now i talk a good talk when it comes to drinking. when i meet friends for happy hour or parties or whatever i'm all, "yeah! let's drink! PARTY." heh. okay, i don't really sound that pathetic, but it's that idea of drinking and getting tipsy that i've always associated with having fun. BIG FUN --the kind you just can't have sober! ha! who has fun sober?? i'm kidding, of course. but more importantly, when did i develop this 'drinking is awesome!' attitude? i've actually gone years without drinking a drop, and i don't recall them being horribly boring or antisocial. ooh, scratch that. they were a tad antisocial, as i was caught up in the hell of the ex-husband. but i guess my point is i didn't miss drinking when i didn't drink. i can go without drinking and be fine. so why do i do it? hmmm....

firstly, i'd have to say it's the lure of the perfect buzz. you know, where you've had just enough to drink that you feel a little flush and chatty and goofy and happy. you feel good, other people look good, it's all good. if only we could learn to stop at that point! one drink over and you're headed for a hangover, or worse, potentially reputation-damaging behavior. oh, not me! other people. heh. my worst offense when i've had too much to drink is that my already loud and obnoxious laugh gets LOUDER and MORE OBNOXIOUS. what can i say? if i'm happy and i know it i laugh! a lot! clapping my hands just doesn't cut it.

secondly, i like the taste of most things alcoholic. wine and beer and mixed drinks -- i'm not too picky. isn't it funny? i remember being a young teen and drinking and thinking "blech! why would anyone who wasn't underage and looking for a cheap buzz want to drink this swill??" of course, it was usually grain and koolaid or cheap, nasty beer i was drinking. but then, the birth of wine coolers opened new doors for me! and i discovered gin and tonics, rum and cokes and southern comfort thanks to my friends' parents' liquor cabinets! yeah, my parents never drank enough to constitute a liquor cabinet. appalling, i know. heh. but i guess you truly do acquire a taste for things as you get older. back then it was more about how much i could drink, how fast i could drink it and how it was going to make me feel, where now it's more about savoring it. catching a little buzz definitely doesn't hurt, though.