snake cake!

snake cake!
Originally uploaded by workforidlehands.

martha stewart's got nothing on me, beeyatch!

strange

i'm feeling crappy today. my face has exploded with zits and i feel rundown. it's taken me all day to realize that i'm probably just coming down from the stress and excitement of putting on the big birthday bash saturday. it was a success. pictures to come later. oh, and then there's the fucking rain. bah.

did i mention i'm having a really bad hair day, too? fucking figures.

cities

i've never done one of these, but what the hell. via supafine:

5 favorite cities

1. san francisco (awesome, awesome city)
2. heidelberg (deutschland! the food! the history! and everyone speaks english)
3. toronto (LOVE this town...it IS a city! i'm geographically challenged)
4. dublin (gritty, but sophisticated. guinness!)
5. paris (beautiful. dirty, but beautiful)

5 cities i would live in

1. san francisco (if it only weren't so damn expensive)
2. heidelberg (food! beer! castles! english!)
3. toronto (culture and amazing shopping and good schools)
4. chicago (i've only been there briefly, but i dig it)
5. portland (i'm cheating 'cause i've never been there. i'd totally live there, though)

5 least favorite cities

1. los angeles (weird sprawling wasteland)
2. orlando (if you've ever been to disney world you know what i'm saying)
3. philadelphia (something about it creeps me out)
4. new york (actually a love/hate thing. i love a lot about NYC, but it exhausts me)
5. woodbridge ( the suburban hellhole my parents live in!)

5 cities i want to see before i die (my addition to the meme)

1. tokyo (hello kitty! sushi! clothes! hello kitty!)
2. kauai (i've been told the most awesome of the islands)
3. istanbul (i have it on good authority that is a fabulous place)
4. new orleans (i've always wanted to go)
5. seoul (back to my ancestral homeland)

got a blog? go do this there! or post your answers in the comments. i wanna hear about cities i know nothing about.

i know it's just a kid's birthday party

but "RSVP" means RSVP, motherfuckers! ugh. i'm worried that the three i haven't heard from are gonna show up, after i've only made enough favors for those i'm expecting. yes, i said made. i'm an idiot....guess i'd better make three more. fuckers!

the whorish consumer in me is happy

so very happy. looking through my latest teen vogue (it's a guilty pleasure. the kids are total fashionistas! shut up.) i saw an advertisement for target's newest fashion alliance with FIORUCCI. i [heart] FIORUCCI! okay, so i may be getting a little old for the cutesy cherubs, but it's fun stuff. i remember going to the FIORUCCI store when i was 13 and living in germany. *sigh* my addiction to clothes began there, i think. anyway. this makes me happy. whee!

top 5 reasons i'm digging today so far

1. jack singing led zeppelin's "immigrant song" at breakfast. ah-ah-ahhhhhh-AH!
2. nate walking (and walking and walking and walking) around, arms akimbo, saying, "RO-BOT."
3. this weather! it's cold! it's about fucking time.
4. i'm about 60% ready for jack's big 5th birthday bash saturday. for a legendary procrastinator and obsessive-compulsive freak, being that close 2 days ahead of time is pretty damn amazing.
5. i'm feeling like i have a plan for 2006. again, amazing for me.

oh, and i found out that mr. fuckface homophobe is as much of an ass as i figured. friends who live right across from him say he's a total jerk and anti-social, but couldn't believe he'd say something like that to me. they also suggested not confronting him because he's got a reputation of having a "bad temper." huh. need to think about what to do, but not now. i'm in too good a mood now.

now playing

and you will know us by the trail of dead - worlds apart

dude. this song is awesome, though i now have to be careful to turn down the volume at the beginning of the song to protect little ears. will i ever learn how to link to an mp3? probably not. heh.

i am so mad i can't see straight

actually, no. "mad" doesn't cut it. i am so unbelievably fucking pissed off that i'm practically hyperventilating and frothing at the mouth, and i don't know what to do. writing about it and hopefully getting some feedback will help, i think. sorry for the rantiness, but here goes nothing:

we all woke up ridiculously late and i wasn't in the mood for rushing around and getting everyone ready to go to school, so jack stayed home. bad mommy, i know. it's a nice day so i figured we could go for a walk and get a snack or whatever. we're on our way down a little sidestreet that leads to the park and downtown, when we encounter this guy who lives at the house on the corner. he's probably in his 40s, seems to work from home, has a mercedes SUV, longish hair, in good shape, gives off kind of a yoga/new-agey vibe. he lives on a street with four other houses, all full of youngish couples and their kids. i've never seen him talk to anyone. he's never attended any kind of neighborhood get-together. he lives alone. so he's walking back to his house with his dog, iPod earphones visible. normally i'd say hello to anyone i encounter in my neighborhood, but i figure he's got headphones on, and he probably wasn't going to say hello to me, so why bother? so i'm pushing the stroller and jack's walking beside me, when he starts to trudge through a pile of leaves that have been pushed to the side. in our neighborhood you can make big piles of leaves by the curb and the county will pick them up. just as the guy and his dog are right in front of us, i pull jack away from the leaves and say, "no jack, don't walk through those." the guy passes me and says, "that kid's gonna grow up to be gay."

STOP. what? what the fuck did he just say? was he talking to me?? i turn around and say, "WHAT?" he glances back and keeps walking.

what the fuck? what the FUCK?? no really, WHAT THE FUCK??

so i keep pushing the stroller, jack by my side, trying not to freak the fuck out. jack seemed to be oblivious to what had happened, so i felt i shouldn't make a scene, though god knows i wanted to chase that motherfucker down and scream at him. so i keep walking. but as i keep walking, i keep thinking about it, and i get madder and madder. and what's worse is that i'm thinking about why i pulled jack away from the leaves, and maybe it wasn't such a big deal to let him walk through them. WHAT THE FUCK? i call dave. he is just as shocked as i am. this asshole homophobe lives across the street from us! in close proximity to small children! who the fuck does he think he is?? it's one thing to think stupid shit, but it's definitely another to have the gall to say it to a complete stranger and her TWO SMALL CHILDREN. he doesn't have kids (that i know of)! who is he to tell me that teaching my son to respect the work of others -- even if it's just a raked up pile of leaves -- is going to do anything but good?? my heart is racing because i know i can't let this go. i cannot live next to someone who is going to talk to me like that and not do something about it. so what do i do? well, whenever i'm confronted with stupidity or hatred my inner teenage hooligan comes out first and i think shit like, "i'll key his car! i'll egg his house! i'll write 'HOMOPHOBE' on his door!" heh. definitely not very mature of me, eh? but those things would make me feel better. then i think, "maybe i should just make sure all his neighbors know what kind of person he is." i mean, i would want to know if my neighbor was saying shit like that to people. this is silver spring, for chrissakes! liberal silver spring! but i suppose there are stupid and mean liberal people, too. ugh. it sickens me.

so we had to walk past mr. fuckface homophobe's house to get back to our house. in most situations, i would go out of my to avoid confrontation, but somehow i was actually hoping that he was outside. some kind of mama bear instinct had emerged, and i felt like i had no choice but to defend and protect my kids. sure, i could ignore it and chalk it up to him just being an asshole, but somehow i can't. i won't. i know it's not setting the best example for my kids, but if he had been outside i would have screamed at him, "I DON'T KNOW WHO THE HELL YOU THINK YOU ARE, BUT YOU CAN KEEP YOUR IDIOTIC COMMENTS TO YOURSELF. AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, NEVER TALK TO OR ABOUT ME OR MY CHILDREN AGAIN." it's always easiest when the rage is fresh.

when i do see him again, i think i will say something to him, but who knows what it will be. it won't be very neighborly, that's for sure. and i am going to talk to the folks i know on that street. my guess is that they have stories of their own about that guy.

i....i am just dumbfounded. my day is ruined. i feel paralyzed and violated. i have 6000 things i should be doing but i don't feel like doing any of them. i guess that's all there is to say without repeating myself.

so. any other suggestions on how to deal with this asshole?

i'm beginning to think that maybe i'm not cut out for this shit?

this morning in the car, jack recounted a playground story about his friends pulling his jacket and laughing and being made to lie down on the ground while one of them was sitting on his back. as he told it he didn't seem particularly upset about it, and mostly let on that he thought it was funny, too, but then he mentions something like, "but i didn't want to do it. they made me do it."

STOP. as i am in a particularly sensitive mood this particular week of the month, i decided i couldn't let that go.

"what do you mean they 'made' you?"

"well, at first, i didn't want to do it, but then i did. and we were laughing."

"were they hurting you? did they force you to do something? if someone tries to make you do something you don't want to do, you say, 'NO, i don't want to do that.' "

"no. i just didn't want to do it, but then i did."

"jack, are you sure? just because someone else wants you to do something, it's okay to say no. and if you don't think what they're doing is funny, you tell them to stop it."

*SILENCE*

"mommy?"

"yes, jack?"

"nothing."

"what is it?"

"nothing."

"is it about your friends?"

"no."

"is it about school?"

"no. nothing."

"jack, what were you going to say? you can tell me."

"nothing."

"just tell me what you were going to say. it's okay."

"nothing."

"jack..."

"NOTHING!"

whoa. i thought that kind of shit didn't go down for at least another 6 or 7 years! but see, i ruined it. i overreacted and got all third degree on his ass. he was sharing something with me, but i had to overanalyze what he was saying and turn it into something, when it's probably nothing. but i can't help it! i want to protect him -- from bullies and assholes and mean people and dangerous situations, and i know it's impossible. it sucks, really. SIGH. and the thing is, i don't know if i'll ever be able to chill out when it comes to these boys. i don't want to be like my parents and not know what the fuck my kids are doing (in my case, it was drinking and drugs and staying out all night and all the shit you don't want your kids to do). how do i balance caring and wanting to be involved, with just being there when they need me? god, that is so against my nature. but i fear i will just end up pushing them away by sticking my nose into their business. UGH. i guess i've got a few years to figure something out.

hrm....

now see, this is why i prefer to live in denial. i'd guess that all major retailers have some kind of shady shit going down, and i can deal with boycotting certain places, but target??? i don't think i can do it, dude.

it would seem that a pharmacist who won't dispense certain drugs because of their religious beliefs isn't really doing their job, eh? time to find another profession, assface!

so the boy doesn't want to talk

except for the random mama and dada (oh, and can't forget his daily mantra of elmo elmo elmo!), but he can blow his nose! 19 months old and blowing his nose, people! jack is going to be 5 in 20 days and still can't blow his fucking nose! uhh, not that there's anything wrong with that. heh. it just gets a little old with the snot constantly running down his face and smeared all over his shirtsleeves. gosh. little natey blowing his nose...amazing. and he's stumbling around like a drunken hooligan, so the walking thing is finally happening. YAY. more good things are coming, i can feel it.