they say the first step is admitting you have a problem

a couple of months ago, after trying on some new clothes, i decided that i was okay with my weight. now this is a big deal for me, considering i've been weight/shape-obsessed since middle school. not enough to exercise (shudder) or eat right or anything crazy like that (heh), but enough to obsess about what clothes flatter my figure, etc. after two pregnancies, i have a bit of a gut -- i call it mommy gut -- and i know that i will never do the crunches or eliminate the fatty foods from my diet that it will take for it to go away. fine. no, really! it's cool. i really had come to terms with it. i mean, i'm back into single-digit sizes, so what more do i really want? okay, a flat stomach would be really nice, but i know better than to fantasize about such things. anyway, i decided to work with what i've got, which ain't half bad, right? well, along the way i decided that i would no longer deprive myself of those things i enjoyed eating and drinking, because maintaining my current weight was completely different than trying to not gain weight, right? WRONG, MORON. with the stress of starting a new business and various other things, i've gone completely overboard. to clue you into how delusional i am about what i can consume without gaining weight, a list of things i recently reintroduced to my diet in large amounts:

• coke... regular coke... with real sugar!
• cadbury cream eggs... to be honest, i prefer to lick out the cream filling and leave the chocolate shell. gross, i know. but at least easter is over so i can't really eat them anymore!
• java chip frappucinos... i crave one every fucking day. seriously, 3:00 hits and i feel like i'm going through withdrawal. yes, i know they have, like, 2000 calories in them.
• barbecue chips dipped in sour cream... a friend in high school introduced me to this culinary masterpiece. it sounds disgusting, but is oh so tasty.

those are just the things off the top of my head. basically, i have been eating all the things i usually deny myself because they are fattening or disgusting. or both. but now i'm feeling a little gross and flabby. the mommy gut is pooching out a little too much. the cute spring clothes i bought aren't looking so cute anymore! HELP.

fashion! turn to the left!

fashion! turn to the right! that's vintage david bowie, for all you youngsters out there. so, fashion. i haven't been paying attention to the latest trends, but after shopping a bit today, i have concluded two things:

1. bubble skirts were never meant to be resurrected. i mean, COME ON. fucking bubble skirts?? numerous times today the design of a skirt or dress would catch my eye, then i'd have to throw it back on the rack in disgust when i saw the stupid bubbled hemline. such a shame.
2. gauchos were also never meant to be resurrected, and really only look halfway decent on very tall, skinny people. i'll admit i had gauchos (denim, no less! with a rainbow embroidered down the side of the leg!) when i was younger, but it was the FREAKIN' 70s. we didn't know any better back then!

SIGH. you know, i'm all for retro fashions and all that, but some shit will never look good. EVER. man, i really need to bust out that sewing machine and make some clothes.

sunday morning coming down

yesterday's craft show was basically a bust. not only was the weather fucking awful, but the only thing i sold was a set of pillowcases for one of the richmond craft mafia chicks, which she technically ordered online. so, i really didn't sell a damn thing. lots of folks took cards, which has already resulted in one order from the website, so hopefully more will follow. i dunno, i think if the weather hadn't been so miserable and mmore people had come out to shop, i would have a better attitude about it, but i still feel i need to rethink this whole craft show thing. maybe a pros/cons list will help.

PROS:

• getting your name out there
• letting people see the stuff in person
• meeting other cool, crafty people

CONS:

• 60 bugs is very much a niche product -- most people i saw yesterday didn't have kids or didn't know anyone who had kids
• if no one's buying anything it makes for a really LONG fucking day
• you usually pay to participate, so if you don't sell anything you lose money

kinda even, i guess, but i do believe that this will be the first and last time i travel to participate in a craft show. anything in DC or my 'hood, i can handle, but no more driving out-of-town. oh! speaking of cool, crafty people, i did meet a very cool woman who lives not far from me who makes awesome, funky jewelry! it's nice to know there are other crafty, geeky types out there like me. i guess that does make yesterday's excursion worthwhile. so why do i feel so exhausted and let down? hrm.

trouble

trouble
Originally uploaded by Mrs. Kennedy.

the fantabulous mrs. kennedy's adorable son jackson rocks the skull tee well, no? i just want to pinch those cheekies!

top 5 things i want to bitch about but i'm biting my tongue because i'm trying to turn over a new leaf

i mean, even i find the constant bitchfest boring, so i can only imagine how you must feel. but anyway, this list is relevant to my life this week, so bear with me.

1. my friend just informed me that my recently found, totally awesome hairstylist has moved to ocean city. FUCK ME.
2. the weather is absolutely fabulous (in the 80s and sunny today) but i am holed up stitching my ass off. that's a funny visual, eh?
3. i am stitching my ass off for this cool craft show on saturday, when it is guaranteed to be a rainy, crappy day. do people go to craft shows outdoors when it's raining?? FUCK ME. oh, i said that already. sorry.
4. jack has turned into some kind of demon child, and we are having major discipline issues. i'm having a tough time containing my displeasure at his behavior, but he obviously has some kind of superpower which makes him impervious to yelling and timeouts. FU....oh, nevermind.
5. my supercool friend is moving across the country, and i don't think i'm going to be able to see her because i'm too fucking busy stitching my ass off and various other scheduling issues. this does give me a reason to check out portland in the future, though.

so yeah, whee! in more pleasant news, my sweet friend mamac-ta said very nice things about 60 bugs yesterday on her new site urban baby runway, which made me feel good. see? i'm not all bitching and moaning all the time! heh. just most of the time.

now playing

yeah yeah yeahs - way out

off the new album show your bones. i am attempting to break out of my non-new-music-buying shell, but it's hard. i like to play this album back-to-back with duran duran. heh. my sweetie-pie friend paige knows all the cool, new music and writes about it so well, and i remember her posting something about this album a few months ago, so thought what the hell. to be honest, i like the idea of karen o more than i actually like karen o --don't even get me started on that ridiculous bowl haircut she's sporting now -- but i gotta say, i think this album is growing on me. natey seems to like it, anyway.

so so so so so so

SO busy! ack! have you ever been so busy making money that you didn't have time to spend it? until now, my answer would have been HELL NO. that kind of job is for suckers! heh. this is a dilemma, people. i like to spend money. i want to spend money. i know i shouldn't complain about being busy with 60 bugs, and i will probably complain even more loudly when i'm not busy with 60 bugs, but the fact is I AM TOO BUSY. at this very moment, i am too busy. can someone add a few extra hours to the day, please? yes, even i am not happy about the direction this blargh is taking. i promise to not bitch this week anymore. see you monday!

EDIT: lest i sound like a totally ungrateful jerk, i must say that i am really happy and excited and amazed that 60 bugs business is booming. really! i am! i'm just feeling a little overwhelmed (hmmm, what time of the month is it?) because i'm working my ass off doing orders PLUS getting stuff stitched up for the craft show NEXT SATURDAY. what can i say, planning in advance has never been my forte.

top 5 things i've wanted to blog about but haven't had time

1. how much i love listening to the eurythmics, big audio dynamite, echo and the bunnymen and REM while i'm stitching. i've considered including a free gift CD with orders entitled The Soundtrack to Your 60 bugs Shirt, but am pretty sure that would just frighten people.
2. natey's unbelievable language explosion. he is talking. and talking and talking. it is so freakin' adorable it hurts my heart a little to hear his sweet voice. even when he's being belligerent and saying NO i can't help but smile. dave has taught him to say mini me, because he likes to think that nate looks just like him. while i might not completely agree, it doen't stop me from getting him to say it many times during the day. i am so grateful that his speech delay issues seem to be resolving themselves.
3. disneyland! it seems like it was forever ago! it was FUN. jack was so great about the whole exhausting ordeal, it made me quite proud. perhaps i'll write more about it later.
4. jack's back in ft. lauderdale for spring break this year. heh. kidding! he's back at grammy's house FOR THE WHOLE DAMN WEEK. um, people reading this who have one kid? your life is a CAKEWALK. heh. he wanted to go, and is having a fantastic time, so i only feel slightly guilty. it sure is nice to have just one little monkey to corral while i'm so busy, though.
5. i think i need to find a sitter for a few hours a week. true to form, i neglected to have a real plan as to how i was going to find time to work on 60 bugs. right now it's basically whenever i can, which isn't so bad, but i've got this dang craft show coming up and i need to have a good assortment of pieces to take. ugh.

oh and then there's that whole grup thing below, which i swear has been on my mind for a while now. specifically the whole clothes thing. i've always been a clothes whore -- since i was wee -- but i just kinda feel like i'm too old to wear certain things. why i have that old-fashioned notion, i don't know. i love funky and interesting clothes. i think that's just a part of who i am. it always will be, i suppose. ah, fuck it. they're just clothes, right? i'm not running around wearing micro minis or crop tops and shit. i would never wear something that would embarrass my kids or (more importantly!) myself. but please, dudes, if i'm 60 and running around looking like betsey johnson, whose clothes i have been known to wear on occasion, don't hesitate to throttle me.

my life suddenly makes sense now

lately i've been feeling like i'm out-of-touch. like i'll never grow up. shit, i'm 36 and i care way too much about funky clothes and shoes. way too much about cool music. and i'm NOT a musician. i mean, i'm not freakin' 20 anymore! what's up with that? even though we're in a large, metropolitan area, i feel like an anomaly. turns out i'm just a grup. it's a funny read, but, oh so true. yikes. at least i know i'm not alone.

had enough 60 bugs yet???

i didn't think so! more kind words today over at blogging baby and posh and pretty. where are people finding out about 60 bugs?? it's kind of freaking me out. in a good way, of course. heh.

EDIT: i'm a little irked to see that that same woman that commented on cool mom picks about 60 bugs also commented on blogging baby. what the fuck? am i being too sensitive or is she being a jerk? she always follows up her "oh i can do that and so can you if you buy sublime stitching patterns" bullshit with something nice. seriously, what the fuck is up with that? should i email her? CEASE AND DESIST, BITCH. gah, i really don't have time for drama right now. i'm too busy with orders from nice people! huh. i think she wishes she had thought of 60 bugs. as jack would say, too bad, so sad. yes, i taught him how to say that. so i'm immature! i don't deserve assholes talking shit about me! do i?

gimme your opinions

i have no time to really blog, but wanted to see what ya'll thought about something. 60 bugs is grooving along, and in my plotting for the future have thought about doing adult shirts. is that something you think would sell? would you buy one? i may stitch some up for the groovy craft fair i'm going to be in coming up, but we'll see if i even have time do all the core kiddie stuff i want to do! ugh. i'm stitching up a saucy roller derby shirt for my pal stacey who started the memphis rock-n-romp, and i'm really enjoying it, so that's also why i'm thinking about doing shirts for big people. i'm actually hoping that when she wears it the other roller derby chicks will want me to make one for them! how cool would that be?? anyway, thoughts would be appreciated!

we're all still on west coast time

and I DON'T LIKE IT. fuck, i can't remember the last time i stayed up past 11:00 pm TWO NIGHTS IN A ROW. yes, i'm lame. what can i say, i love my 8+ hours of sleep. SIGH. it will pain me, but tomorrow i think i'm gonna have to roll the brothers out of bed earlier than 9:30 am (felt like 6:30), which is when they woke up today. UGH.

more bloggy 60 bugs pimpage

from the swell folks over at cool mom picks. so the woman commenting about the similarity of the designs i use to sublime stitching's (just stopping short of saying that i stole them, basically) got me hyperventilating a little bit, 'cause i had a little anxiety about using someone else's designs in the first place, you know? but i am, indeed, a licensed sublime stitching merchant, so there's no reason to panic. i love jenny hart and sublime stitching's designs, and i enjoy using them. i could make my own -- and i do use some of my own -- but why? the patterns are exactly what i want to stitch up, so it seems redundant. call me lazy, but how many different ways can i draw a drumkit? or a skull and crossbones? or a cowbell?? heh, i sound like i'm freaking out, but i'm really not. i'm helping to support what sublime stitching is doing, as well as what i'm doing, so it's a win-win situation. it just makes me feel a little icky that someone basically came out to say, hey, i can do that myself with those patterns! which then makes me feel like, why would anyone want to buy something they could make themselves?? hello, insecurity! heh. anyway, i thought it was very nice that the cool mom picks reviewer came to my rescue with her comment. judging by the number of orders i've received in the few short weeks i've been in business, i'd say that there are more people out there who do not feel inclined to pick up a needle and stitch something themselves, than there are who do. good for me! and for sublime stitching!

ps: thanks gingajoy, for suggesting 60 bugs to the cool moms. it sounds like maybe a few other moms did the same thing! so nice.

dudes, this could be dangerous

i have just returned from strolling around the gaslamp quarter and eating delicious sushi at some hole-in-the-wall place i happened upon to the uberhip and swanky hotel solamar with a yummy double cafe noel (espresso with caramel, chocolate and steamed milk) in my hand. oh, i forgot the important part! [all the stuff in the first line] + ALONE. BY MYSELF. NO KIDS. NO TIME CONTRAINTS. JUST ME AND WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT TO DO. i think i may faint from the freedom.

dave has a dinner meeting and the boys are at their auntie's place. i don't know what to do with myself! it's kinda weird, you know? i honestly cannot remember the last time i was a in a city with nothing to do but explore at my own pace. it's nice. i'm actually not that interested in checking out all san diego has to offer or anything, but just having the option is SWEET. so what do i do now? watch a movie maybe. surf the web maybe. peruse the room service menu for breakfast maybe. sounds boring, i know, but dammit being alone is awesome. don't worry, i'm not gonna run away from home or anything. i'll be missing my monkey boys by morning. but, i tell you what, i'm gonna sleep really fucking good. i just know it.