falling apart

this weekend i have acquired a multitude of cuts, gashes and bruises, and it's starting to freak me out. when did i get so fucking clumsy?? is it hormonal? i don't think so. very, very weird.

to complete the sickly picture, poor nate has a yeast infection and diarrhea and jack is home from school with a tummyache and diarrhea. whee! the diarrhea i can handle, but the yeast infection?? a yeast infection for baby boys involves red, inflamed, sticky-looking testicles. EEK! luckily it's easily remedied with some good old athlete's foot cream (yum!), but still involves a lot of generally unhappy behavior -- especially when i have to change a poopy diaper! SIGH. i'm really looking forward to the day when tv will cure/ease what ails nate. needless to say, jack is recovering nicely watching sesame street. yeah, he's rediscovering the classics in between trips to the potty -- if he weren't potty-trained i'd surely be on the verge of a serious breakdown.

hmm. sorry for the gross talk. too much information? heh.

soundbite

jack: but daddy, if we don't go to the park at school i won't get to slide down the pole!

dave: sorry, you'll just have to slide down my pole.

-pause-

me: um, what the fuck??

it appears that dave lets jack climb on him and slide down the length of his body like a firepole. heh, like the explanation of the pornographic-sounding language is any less pornographic-sounding!

jack: okay, i'll just have to slide down your pole all day and all night!

-pause-

me and dave: BAHAHAHHAHAHA!

we are bad, bad parents.

in a funk

haven't felt much like writing lately -- the pmdd's got me down again. but i AM feeling much better with this lovely summer-like weather! now if i just weren't so damn bloated. ugh.

so the washington city paper piece is out, and i sound like a DAMNED FOOL. yikes! how was i supposed to know that my random phone conversation with my friend was going to end up in print?? he didn't say, "this is on the record" or ANYTHING. damn. but funnier than how stupid i sound is the fact that people are gonna see my name with all the DC scenesters and say, "stay-at-home Rock-n-Romp mom? who the fuck is that??" heh.

what a bitch

yesterday i took nate and jack to the gymboree open house downtown. there were a ton of babies and toddlers there sitting on their parents'/caregivers' laps, bewildered at being bounced around and thrown in the air and having to listen to the hideous sing-songy crap all the adults were singing. but there were also stuffed toys, balls and climbing apparatuses (why did i think it was apparati??) so the lee boys were happy. while we sat on the outskirts of the group circle, dave called my cellphone to confirm our meeting time and place. i was juggling the phone and natey falling all over a ball and kids crawling by and keeping an eye out on jack, so i was pretty distracted. as i finished up the call, a baby about nate's age crawled over and took the ball that nate was playing with. so i -- still on the phone, trying to decipher what dave is saying over the din -- reach out, grab the ball from the kid and give it back to nate. HA! even replaying it in my mind is hilarious, but i'm actually quite horrified that i did it! immediately after, the kid's mother appeared out of the crowd, scooped up her son and moved to another area.

now i'm not even sure the mother saw me do it. the kid didn't cry or anything, there was so much other shit going on to distract him! but for the rest of the time we were there, i felt like she was avoiding me or the space we occupied. i know this is totally ridiculous, seeing as how there were a ton of people there -- you could barely walk without tripping over a baby or bumping into an adult -- but i still felt embarrassed at my faux pas. i mean, one-year-olds don't know shit about sharing! they don't even usually care if someone takes something from them, they just move on to the next thing. but i feel like i broke some unwritten rule about interfering in the social interaction of babies or something. heh. if someone had done that to nate i probably would've been pissed, but i'm a hothead like that. heh.

so am i a bitch or just overprotective? i dunno. my only rationalization for my behavior is that since nate has been able to get into jack's toys, i am constantly having to remind jack that he's a big boy and to take turns and share and give back toys that he's taken out of nate's hands. more often than not, i have to take the toy from jack to give back to nate. see! it was just a totally unconscious move! i wasn't trying to be mean to that other baby or make him cry or upset! so why do i still feel like a jerk?

addendum: after this visit i think i understand the bad rep gymboree has -- it's almost like entering a cult!

oh god no

i did not just cry at the most recent episode of lost i tivoed! what the fuck is wrong with me?? it seems too early for the pms, so i just don't know, man. i guess next week's 2-hour season finale is gonna be a bawlfest!

this brings up something that i'd forgotten about regularly watching tv -- the dreaded summer hiatus! shit, i can't remember the last time i was seriously hooked on a show enough to watch it religiously and go through the torturous routine of watching the season finale cliffhanger then have to wait 3 FUCKING MONTHS to see what happens! ugh. maybe this tivo thing isn't so great. oh who am i kidding? of course it is. it's awesome. so awesome that i will be hypothesizing about what the new season will bring for 4 GODDAMN SHOWS. oh wait, make that 5 -- i forgot about that damn queer as folk dave has forced me to become enslaved to. probably more pathetic than getting sucked into the QAF storylines is the fact that the whole time i'm watching it i'm thinking, "wow, half these people aren't even gay!" seriously, what about being straight and being on a show for 4 years where you regularly make out and get naked with someone of the same sex?? i know, it's acting. these people must take their art very seriously, right? but still! watching that goofy little hal sparks (whose only other claim to fame that i know of is providing annoying commentary for VH1's i love the 80s series) smooching on his partner is just too weird. hey! i AM NOT a homophobe! heh. i just prefer realism, and how hard could it be to find a gay cast??

wow, that was rambly and all over the place! sorry. this is what tv does to me! heh. so yeah, it's gonna be a long, rerun-filled summer. whoopee!

BAHAHAHAHA

this made me laugh.

*sigh* if it could only happen in real life.

the cuteness.....it's killing me.....

the last few days, actually ever since rock-n-romp, nate has taken up singing and dancing. it is unbelievably precious and adorable, the way that all things 14-month-olds do that don't involve puke or poop or snot or shrieking or crying are adorable. but what makes this over-the-top adorable is the fact that he has done it all on his own. no prompting from me or dave, he just decided that he digs the music! oh, and the drums! we dragged out jack's kit for the romp and nate has been bashing ever since. i think we may have our prodigy here, folks. right now he is sitting in his crib "singing" along with his music box thingie he listens to when it's night-night time. sure, all he's saying is, "ha ha ha ha ha ha ha," but there's a melody in there! changes in pitch and phrasing, even!

when jack was wee we bought all kinds of instruments and encouraged him to go crazy -- his favorite was rocking out and "playing" guitar to andrew w.k. he even had some awesome dance moves to go with it! but then he started school and began to show more interest in kid things like sports and dinosaurs and ninja turtles -- the rock kinda fell by the wayside. he still picks up the guitar every once in a while, but given a choice, he'd rather pretend he's spiderman. as for nate, i feel bad because i just haven't thought about it as much. we play music for him and sing and all that, but we really haven't tried to get him into instruments the way we did with jack. so imagine my surprise now that he's picked it up on his own! he's really quite talented. heh. for 14-months-old?? he's fucking awesome.

some parents want their kids to be doctors or lawyers? what does it say about me that i'd rather have a rockstar??

child abuse

i've just discovered a new gymboree downtown, and i think i'm going to sign nate up for a play or music class. i know, i know, why the fuck does a 14 month old need to take a class?? plus, gymboree has a bad reputation, though i don't really know why. what's the big deal? put some mats down, throw some toys and instruments out there and let the tots have fun! yeah, nate nate and i are lacking in the socializing with other kids department, so i figure what the hell. we'll get out of the house and he'll get to roll around and fall over other kids. it's a win-win situation!

saved the embarrassment

of being associated with a fugazi song! whew. it turns out that the Powers That Be at the WCP feel that my original bad brains pick is acceptable, even though it was recorded after they left DC. i will always consider them a DC band, so makes sense to me. a fugazi song had already been picked by someone, so they wanted to keep the repeat action to a minimum. i wonder how many times they're going to have to get people to pick someone other than fugazi. heh.

looking for trouble

hmmm...what mischief can we get into in here?

what? i shouldn't be playing with rusty screwdrivers and broken glass? then what the hell is it doing in here??

but, but... MUST. have. this. dangerous. sharp. object. outta my way!

someone tell this kid to leave me alone! he's not the boss of me!

dude, get off me!

i will not be contained!

fucking lame

so my friend at the WCP obviously feels bad about the lack of RnR coverage, and has asked me to participate in a piece they're doing on DC music. they're compiling a list of the best local recordings as picked by 40 "influential washingtonians." man, they must be hard up for participants if they're asking me! heh. but whatever, get my name in the paper, dammit! even though it's cool to be included in this thing, i've had a ridiculously hard time selecting a song! i wanted to think of something really great, maybe slightly obscure, that wouldn't be the pick of a dozen other people! but lameass me narrowed it down to fugazi's "waiting room." is that totally lame?? fuck, i don't know! my problem is that i have the most pathetic memory, and i can barely remember song titles as it is! i kinda wanted to pick a shudder to think song, but all i could think of was this one song i really liked that they played live all the time, but have no idea what it's called. i think it's on the first dischord release, but i could be totally wrong. then i considered a bad brains song, but determined that it was recorded after they had moved to NYC, so didn't really count as a local recording. blah blah blah.

whatever. i can handle being part of the herd of fugazi-lovers, though truth be told, i haven't really listened to fugazi much in the past 10 years. the reason i chose that song is because i remember loving it so much when they played it live. god, i can't remember how many times i saw them back in the late 80s! back then, they were just IT -- politics aside, 'cause i didn't give a fuck about that stuff back then, they were loud and powerful and exciting. good things in my book. and i still love hearing it today, so i guess it really was the best choice. best choice for me, that is. so why do i still feel lame? i'm such a poseur! heh.

now playing

gordon downie - vancouver divorce

poetic little breakup song. sad in a sweet way.

thanks for the cd, jonas!

Rock-n-Romp was awesome!

Just look at the kids' faces. That really says it all, doesn't it?

What a great day. Go to the new blog and read about it. I just LOVE this picture taken by my fab friend Angel. Do I know how to pick the perfect bands to play for kids or what??

could i love this boy ANY more??

nate is fulfilling his destiny as a member of this household and embracing the hilarity of all bodily functions. today he was sitting on the floor and let out a healthy burp -- more soda- than beer-like, but still pretty impressive. as i looked at him and laughed, as i am wont to do whenever anyone burps, he looked back and smiled and burped again! this made me laugh more, which got the old gears in his head working and he started laughing, looked me in the eye to make sure i was paying attention, and attempted a hat trick! alas, all he could muster was a dull sounding "UH." how cute is that?? 14 months old and already trying to impress the ladies! maybe he'll be the son who brings his dear mother presents just for the hell of it.

candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker

it pains me to say this, but i'm starting to think that the new Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is going to be a pale imitation of the original. i still eagerly await it's premiere, though, because johnny depp is in it. JOHNNY DEPP. the man can do no wrong in my book -- he's hot, quirky, an ex-patriot -- what's not to love?? but i also love this story and the original movie, and i fear that he was not the best choice to play willy wonka. gene wilder was just SO brilliant in the willy wonka role. there was no reaching in his performance -- he really brought the character to life. in watching the trailer it seems like johnny is just going for an over-the-top, uber-eccentric version of wonka. granted the trailer is only 30ish seconds, but i'm going to stand by my assessment until i can see the whole thing. and the teeth! what's with the teeth?? oh, you have to watch it to see what i'm talking about. sometimes i wish i weren't cursed with the obsession over details.

the freakout begins

so Rock-n-Romp kicks off this saturday! after 3 years, we've got preparations pretty much down to a science, but i always tend to get anxious the week before. that's just the old OCD, though. must. be. PERFECT. must. run. like. CLOCKWORK. ridiculous, i know. but this thing is the closest i've got to a job, you know? i have a wonderful group of people who help out, and things always go well, but it still stresses me out a bit. that's just me.

the one thing that stresses me out the most is the one thing i have no control over: the weather. i'd hazard a guess and say at least 40% of the time there is a threat of rain on scheduled RnR dates. gee, think there's chance of showers this saturday?? BAH. so i watch the forecast change from day to day, hour to hour, and hope. i've cancelled shows in the past and it didn't end up fucking raining AT ALL. just who is in control of these weather machines, anyway?? so, completely against my nature, i am going to wait and see what happens saturday. if it is not pouring rain at 1pm, the show is on! if you're free you should come by.

I AM PENISMAN!

" jack, put your clothes on. we're late for school!"

"I AM PENISMAN." [naked, shaking his butt]

"that's great, jack. put your clothes on."

"but i am penisman! oh, and i can be bootyman, too. I AM BOOTYMAN." [more bootyshaking]

"fantastic, jack."

is this kid destined to be class clown or what? heh.

lightweight

i know it's ridiculous, but thinking about how i got drunk on two glasses of wine seems pathetic to me. like, what is this?? fucking junior high?? heh. i'm not much of a drinker these days, and i don't really consider myself to have ever been a person who drinks a lot or even on a regular basis (in adulthood, anyway), but this calls to mind a time in my late teens/early twenties when i could drink like a fish. seriously, my tolerance was so high after years of downing wine coolers (ICK) and milwaukee's best (double ICK) that it would sometimes take a six-pack to even give me a buzz. there was an odd pride that came along with that realization, but it was quickly followed by annoyance because hey! BEER AIN'T CHEAP and the point here is to GET DRUNK.

now i talk a good talk when it comes to drinking. when i meet friends for happy hour or parties or whatever i'm all, "yeah! let's drink! PARTY." heh. okay, i don't really sound that pathetic, but it's that idea of drinking and getting tipsy that i've always associated with having fun. BIG FUN --the kind you just can't have sober! ha! who has fun sober?? i'm kidding, of course. but more importantly, when did i develop this 'drinking is awesome!' attitude? i've actually gone years without drinking a drop, and i don't recall them being horribly boring or antisocial. ooh, scratch that. they were a tad antisocial, as i was caught up in the hell of the ex-husband. but i guess my point is i didn't miss drinking when i didn't drink. i can go without drinking and be fine. so why do i do it? hmmm....

firstly, i'd have to say it's the lure of the perfect buzz. you know, where you've had just enough to drink that you feel a little flush and chatty and goofy and happy. you feel good, other people look good, it's all good. if only we could learn to stop at that point! one drink over and you're headed for a hangover, or worse, potentially reputation-damaging behavior. oh, not me! other people. heh. my worst offense when i've had too much to drink is that my already loud and obnoxious laugh gets LOUDER and MORE OBNOXIOUS. what can i say? if i'm happy and i know it i laugh! a lot! clapping my hands just doesn't cut it.

secondly, i like the taste of most things alcoholic. wine and beer and mixed drinks -- i'm not too picky. isn't it funny? i remember being a young teen and drinking and thinking "blech! why would anyone who wasn't underage and looking for a cheap buzz want to drink this swill??" of course, it was usually grain and koolaid or cheap, nasty beer i was drinking. but then, the birth of wine coolers opened new doors for me! and i discovered gin and tonics, rum and cokes and southern comfort thanks to my friends' parents' liquor cabinets! yeah, my parents never drank enough to constitute a liquor cabinet. appalling, i know. heh. but i guess you truly do acquire a taste for things as you get older. back then it was more about how much i could drink, how fast i could drink it and how it was going to make me feel, where now it's more about savoring it. catching a little buzz definitely doesn't hurt, though.

happy birthday sweetney!

this is a cake!

last night i participated in a surprise gathering for my dear friend sweetney's initiation into the dreaded middle age -- poor thing's turning 35. never mind the fact that i'm already 35, and was the OLDEST PERSON AT THE TABLE, it's her turn to mourn the passing of her youth. heh. sweetney's husband jamie ordered this amazing pirate cake you see above. it was AWESOME. awesome looking, awesome tasting, just awesome. and all edible -- even the sword and gold doubloons! it was a fun time and i got pretty sloshed on 2 glasses of wine. yep, she's old AND a lightweight! whee!

happy mother's day

i totally look like their au pair and not their mother and YOU KNOW IT.

despite the fact that i'm nursing a slight hangover and this damned cold, it was a pretty great mother's day. and yes, i did it. i actually bought the boys matching t-shirts and made them wear them at the same time. i'm a sucker for the 70s stripey look. plus, if i'm going to have children who refuse to smile for cameras, then i'm gonna make damn sure they're wearing cute clothes!

did you call your mother today??

bitchfest 2005

grump grump grump

i think i'm getting a cold.

cramps suck.

cramps when you're hungry for brownies but can't have them SUCK MORE.

a 13 month old who can zero in on the tiniest speck of crap or crumb on the floor and then try to eat it is in danger of GETTING ON MY LAST FUCKING NERVE.

how is it that artificial sweeteners do not taste better?? *sniff* it's making me want to give up coffee, which would really be a bad thing for anyone who has to deal with me in the morning! i don't get how people use it so freely -- are their tastebuds dead??

i feel so lame that i have nothing better to write about.

damn, this south beach shit involves a lot of cooking! cooking is something i just don't have time for -- all the prepwork, the actual cooking, the cleaning up. nate ain't gonna sit quietly reading a book while i do all this shit, you know!

grump grump grump

diet revelations, volume 2

BAHAHAHA! just the thought that i could still be on the diet i started back in march is fucking hilarious. so yeah, i blew it. after a coupla weeks i just couldn't do it anymore. but i think i know why:

1) the very idea that i could create my own diet is ABSURD. i basically cut out fatty stuff and tried to eat more vegetables and the like, but what was i thinking?? i'm a person who CANNOT improvise. give me a recipe, and i will follow the directions to the letter. what? you think it would taste better with a pinch of so-and-so? NO. it's NOT in the ingredients listed. you think it's done after only 10 minutes broiling, when the directions clearly state to broil for 12 minutes?? FORGET IT. so anyway, my point is i need a plan. i need instruction. i need a diet guru to tell me what to eat and when to eat it! dr. agatston, welcome to my world.

2) carbs really are evil. it pains me to say this, because god knows i love my bread and cake and pasta and potatoes, but it's true. if i'm going to lose any substantial weight, i need to quit being such a carb whore.

3) the best part about starting a diet is the inevitable gorgefest that takes place the day before said diet begins. for me, that would be today. WHEE! french toast, pizza and a whole box of bahlsen choco leibniz! did i mention that i'm pms-ing? heh.

4) starting a diet while on your period is insane, but must be possible, right?? dave has actually asked me repeatedly to not start the diet tomorrow for this very reason, but my vanity will not be swayed! it will probably be a difficult time for all the lee boys, but my need to fit into some cute warm weather clothes SOON far outweighs any possible discomfort or disharmony. i think we shall all be stronger because of this experience. heh.

so...i'll keep you posted! the first two weeks are the hardest, but i know i can do this. wish me luck.